Tough Week

10/20/2007

Well, where do I begin. First of all. Thank you nana and papa for the prayers and putting my name on the temple roll, that was nice of you.

Well, with my week. I don't know what is going on with me. We all know that I have never been a stressed person, I think before the mission I had never been stressed before. I always critized mom and couldn’t understand how she could be stressed. I have been stressed for a long time now, in this cambio. I feel the stress everyday, I feel the tension in my body in my mind, everything. I have had a constant headache for two weeks now. I am having one of the biggest trials of my life inside of me. Trying to give things to the lord and let him take care of me.

I did have a special experience this week in my personal studies. I had gotten all worked up about something; my companion has changed in a couple of things but keeps going the same in most things. So she did something and I got a little hot, and we know I really never get mad either. So that is also something foreign to me that I am learning how difficult it really is to deal with these feelings and emotions. Anyway. So I have prayed, fasted, and studied and then some. Saturday night last week I didn’t sleep at all, our neighbors had a party and I heard things nobody ever wants to hear. I didn’t sleep. Then the time changed and nobody told us that it was changing. So we got to church at 10 but it really was 11 and we got there for the end of the sacrament meeting, and I was sooooooooooo looking forward to sacrament meeting. Well, the story goes on and on. So Tuesday morning I was fried. I needed comfort, peacefulness in my heart, a comfort, something, I needed the spirit again, I was longing for it. So I was studying and prayed and studying and praying. As I was doing that I heard a small voice tell me, I will take care of you and all the bad feelings in my heart went away. I was left with that peacefulness that I was looking for. I was able to go to the district meeting with the spirit and feel it strongly and participate in the meeting this week. I was soo comforted. I have also learned that Satan is strong and those feelings don’t last forever unless you work at it. I have just been so down in the dumps. I am sick of working by myself. I have written down everything I am thankful for and tried everything to be happy. The elders keep telling me what I need to do to make things better. For the first time in my life I feel like I have reached my limit. I am being stretched sooooooo much this time. I feel like the little things they are asking me to do are things that are not within my limits anymore. The AP called me last night to ask how we were and how things are doing and I asked him if he was calling and asking and giving me advice because we need to work things out because we will be staying together, they are in the process of doing the cambios right now. And he laughed but can’t say yes or no. but still. I cried myself to sleep last night because I don’t know what else I have in me. I am so tired. I know that Satan is working on my soooooooooooo strongly. I was meditating again yesterday a lotttttttttttttttt and I just put my head down on the table and just prayed and poured it all out to the lord. It was amazing. I felt such warmth around me and pictured the lord with his arms around me. I know he knows what I am going through; I know he is there for me. I don’t want to carry my own burden and then I give it to him and then something happens. It is a constantttttttttttttttttttttttttttt battle. I know I am going to come about a better person in the end.
Today, I was studying and I had no clue what to study. I just sat and opened my triple wherever it would open and read whatever popped out, the lord real was communicating to me through those scriptures. I really found comfort in what he was trying to tell me. Something’s seem impossible for me to do, but I know with him they aren’t impossible. The part really stuck out just ENDURE TO THE END, to the end of everything. That means, I have no clue if I will be with my companion for a few more days or six more weeks. I don’t know. But if it is only for a few more days then I am going to make them the best few days ever. I would hate to look back for the rest of my life and leave things on a bad note and remember that I had just given up in the end, that I got worn out and just pooped out. No, I want to remember that I went fighting to the end and that Satan didn’t win us over to ruin the work of the lord. That is the last thing I want. I just pray that my headache goes away, that I can find more peace in my heart and joy. And that I can get rid of this stress that I have and feel.
So, in a nutshell that is me for this week.
So Wednesday are the cambios. If I stay here in osorno I will not write on Wednesday because it is not our p-day. If I get transferred and go somewhere else I will write on Wednesday. But if I stay, even if my companion goes or stays I will not be able to write. You will all just have to wait.
Thank you for all that you guys do for me, your love, prayers, letters, thoughts, everything. I really appreciate it. I am so blessed to have the family that I have and to have the friends that I have. I am so lucky. I don’t know what I have done in my life to receive so many blessings and to have so much. I know that god really is our heavenly father and I know that he really does love us more than we can imagine. I know that god lives and so does Jesus Christ. I love my heavenly father and am soooo grateful to him. I love Jesus Christ and the happiness and hope that he gives us in this life. I am so grateful for the scriptures and how god can communicate with us through them. I am so grateful to be on the mission and to learn soooooo much and see sooooo clearly what I have to change and how I can be a better person. I love this work. I love really and truly what I am doing. And I love getting to know the people here in Chile and doing all I can do to help them to be happy. I love the power of prayer and that through the Holy Ghost we really can receive answers and have personal revelation. It is real, I know with all my heart it is.

Mom, dad, thanks for teaching me all of these things so that I could be so blessed to share them with other people.

Take care all.
Love, hna Jamie Pratt